


Bad Connection

by meaninglessblah



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Dirty Talk, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Phone Sex, Sex Work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-27 14:04:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19014397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meaninglessblah/pseuds/meaninglessblah
Summary: Roy convinces Jason to call into the "Bird & Bees Hotline", and Jason gets redirected to phone sex operator Dick Grayson.





	Bad Connection

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Joverie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joverie/gifts).



Jason takes a sip of his beer in the monotonous hum of the dial tone, trying to convince himself that there’s no reason why he should be embarrassed about this. His throat still feels tight.

This has to be the dumbest thing Roy has ever suggested he try. And Jason has tried a _lot_ of stupid things on Roy’s word. It’s just that Roy’s wayward suggestions don’t usually involve something so… intimate.

Jason’s not sure the beer’s helping. He’s considering to switching to something stronger, if only to calm his nerves. Maybe even a cigarette to take the edge off. He’s just not sure he has enough hands free to smoke, drink and do… well, do _that_.

He’s alone, because he’s not one to get off on humiliation, despite some opinions to the contrary. Jason’s perfectly happy to do this in the privacy of his own apartment, thank-you-very-much.

He’s honestly surprised he’s made it this far. He’d nearly tucked tail and hung up when the receptionist had picked up with a cheery, “Birds and Bees operator hotline. How can I service you this evening?”

“Uh, I’m looking for a…” Jason lets the word trail off, but either this woman is a sadist or she’s just oblivious, because he has to force out “an operator” before she lets them continue.

“Certainly. Have you used our services before, sir?”

“No.”

“Would you like a recommendation, or do you have an operator in mind?”

“A recommendation, I guess.”

“Are you after a Bird or a Bee this evening?”

Jason blinks. “Sorry?”

“A Bird or a Bee?” she repeats, and Jason feels as if they’ve suddenly switched languages without any warning. “A man or woman?” she elaborates, and relief washes through him.

“Oh, uh, a man, I suppose,” Jason replies self-consciously.

“I’ve got just the Bird in mind,” the receptionist purrs. “Could you hold for a moment?”

“Sure.”

So now Jason’s here, sitting in the dim light of his apartment, listening to a dial tone while he sips his beer and comes up with twenty different ways he’s going to suckerpunch Roy next time he sees him.

A peal of laughter comes through the other end of the receiver, and if Jason’s throat was tight before, it’s nothing compared to now. The laughter dwindles into a sultry chuckle, before a voice rings through the phone, “Hello, handsome, how can I help you tonight?”

Jason swallows. And swallows again, _hard_.

A note of sympathy. “First time at this?”

His voice miraculously resurfaces, if not more strained than it usually is. “Yeah,” Jason murmurs sheepishly, and takes another sip of beer for good measure.

A conspiratorial chuckle. “You drinking, gorgeous?”

 _Gorgeous_. Jason’s cheeks feel like they’re ablaze. Probably are, he concedes, and is amazed to find his lips can still form words. “Just a little.”

“Tell me what you’re drinking then.”

“Uh,” Jason says, feeling exceedingly stupid as he turns the glass bottle around to peer at the label. “Mountain Brew.”

“Save some for me,” the man hums, and Jason raises the bottle to his lips in the meanwhile. The man’s tone drops to a sultry slur in the time it takes Jason to tip the bottle back. “Maybe I’ll lick it off your dick.”

 _Choking_ , he’s definitely choking. Jason wrenches forwards, summoning the good sense to hold the phone away from his head while he coughs vehemently, eyes close to watering.

“Oh shit,” comes the disjointed voice from his phone’s speaker. “You still there, handsome?”

Jason coughs once more and raises the phone to his ear, trying out his shocked vocal chords. “Yeah,” he strains.

The man chuckles, light and yet lined with wickedness. “Choking already, sweetheart?”

Jason blushes, and is immensely glad that he’s blissfully alone, sitting in his living room in the near-dark. He swallows, strengthening his vocal chords as he sits up straighter. “So, uh, how does this work?” he asks tentatively.

“Well,” the man says somewhat seriously, “I talk, you listen, and if I play my cards right, you get a pretty little orgasm out of it. Sound good?”

“Sure,” Jason says as steadily as he can.

“Hmm.” He sounds contemplative, unconvinced. “Here, baby-doll, try something out for me – sit back and relax, yeah?”

Jason shifts, slouching leisurely on the sofa, setting the beer aside on second thoughts. “Yeah.”

“Close your eyes.”

Jason does, letting his exhale out slowly as he adjusts to the darkness, lets his mind wander. He can hear the man’s smile in his next words.

“That’s it, baby-doll, relax for me. You feeling good?”

“Better with you in my ear,” Jason replies, and nearly kicks himself for how cheesy that sounds. The man’s pealing laugh alleviates some of his embarrassment though.

“Witty, I like that,” he says appreciatively, and the praise coils up through Jason like a lit wick. “I like a man with a good comeback.”

“What else do you like in your men?”

The man’s chuckle is light and warm. “Me, preferably.”

Jason’s not sure he can keep up with all the innuendos. Usually, he can give as good as he gets, the one-liners flying off his lips like bullets. But there’s something about his sultry purr that makes Jason’s mind move like quicksand. He feels like he’s met his match in that department.

“I didn’t scare you off, did I, handsome?”

“No,” Jason answers firmly. “No, I’m still here.”

“Hmm, that’s good. Alright, gorgeous, are you touching yourself?”

Jason clears his throat softly and sinks back against the cushions a little more. “No, not- not yet.”

“Do that for me, little one.”

“Not little,” Jason grunts as he pops the buttons on his jeans and unzips the fly. His hand is cold from the condensation when it skirts down his stomach, and he flinches when he slides a finger under the waist of his briefs. Then he imagines the man’s eyes on him - so easy to do when his own eyes are closed - and shudders as he wraps his hand around his cock.

The man chuckles softly, but it’s not patronising. If anything, it sounds fond. “I’m sure you’re not, baby-doll. I’m sure you could just break me in half.”

Oh, that’s a nice thought. Jason tries to imagine what his hands would look like on the man’s narrow hips if he were grinding into Jason’s lap. He gives his dick a consolatory squeeze, but doesn’t move yet.

“What would you do,” the man asks gently, “if you had me with you right now? Where would you have me, handsome?”

“In my lap,” Jason admits, and the man sounds pleased at that, so Jason continues, “My hands on your hips.”

“You gonna stroke me off, baby? Or are you gonna leave me until I’m desperate and begging for your cock?”

“Christ,” Jason mutters, because this is moving fast. It’s not unwelcome though. The man’s words are drawing vivid images across the backs of his eyelids, and Jason finds himself rocking his hips slowly, imagining them grinding up against the man’s ass as he squirms against Jason’s thighs. He likes the idea of the man being over-fragile in his touch, more than he thought he would. Of his hands coarse on arching hips as he shivers from the stimulation and nuzzles at Jason’s throat.

The man’s words sound just the slightest bit more laboured when he insists, “Which is it gonna be, gorgeous? You gonna make me beg?”

“I might,” Jason admits. “You probably sound good when you beg.”

“‘Course I do, baby,” the man purrs with a breathless laugh. “If it makes you happy, I’ll beg you. I’d beg you to touch me, and play with me. I’d beg you to hold me down and kiss me everywhere, until I’m panting and squirming and desperate. Would you let me come then, gorgeous?”

Jason’s hand is moving the whole time the man talks, long purposeful strokes that are dragging the heat down to pool in his groin. He somehow manages a tight, strained laugh. “No way, baby,” he promises through a groan. “You don’t sound genuinely desperate yet.”

“No?” the man replies, and Jason can hear him shifting behind the phone. Imagines him on the other end of the line, touching himself to the sound of Jason’s voice, just like Jason’s doing. Christ, he’d probably look gorgeous, all long and lean, stretched out for Jason. “What’s it gonna take, handsome? What’ve I gotta do to convince you? You want me to beg you to let me suck you off?”

Jason makes a hopeless little noise that the man gasps at. God, imagining those lips around him is drawing Jason taut and tight, working himself to a fever pitch.

“What about if I take your cock, hmm?” The man sounds a bit more strained, and Jason’s half convinced he _is_ getting off on this, just as much as Jason is. The thought makes him a little punch drunk. “Fuck, handsome, you’ve got me all hot and bothered here.”

“That doesn’t happen often?” Jason manages to get out, and is rewarded with a few sharp huffs on breath on the other end of the line.

“Not usually on first timers.”

Jason blushes at that. He’s not a virgin (except at sex hotlines) but he feels like he’s sixteen again and fumbling his way around another man’s body. He lifts his hips a bit so he can arch into his fist a little better. “I must be lucky.”

“Took the words right out of my mouth,” the man replies tightly, and Jason can tell he’s smiling despite being breathless. “How close are you, gorgeous?”

“Not far,” Jason admits, and groans as he leans his head back against the cushion, panting openly. “You gonna come for me?”

The man whines on the other end, the sound guttural and desperate. “Please? Can I?”

“Fuck,” Jason moans, opening his eyes as he thrusts shallowly into his palm. “Fuck, you look so-”

A strangled noise comes through the phone. “ _Please_ , fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, please-”

Jason shouts as he comes, spilling over his fist as he ruts hopelessly into his palm. He can hear the man’s breathless wail on the other end of the line, past the blood rushing in his ears, and he sees white for a few blessed seconds.

They both come down from it with heaving breaths, listening to each other level out over the phone. It’s somehow stupidly intimate, considering Jason’s literally just gotten off to the sound of his voice and nothing else.

Jason’s head’s still spinning a bit by the time the man chuckles and asks, “You alright, handsome?”

“Yeah,” Jason gasps. “Thanks.”

“Your pleasure,” the man purrs, and Jason blushes. “Oh, by the way; if you want to request me next time, ask for Dick.”

Jason blinks, a small smile tugging at his lips. He wonders if that’s the man’s real name, or just a pseudonym. Either way, he likes it. “Sure thing, Dick.”

**Author's Note:**

>  **Joverie:** I promised you a fic because you did the laundry, right? Here you go! Hope you like it :)  
> (And I promise I'll stop dedicating every Batfam fic I do to you. Just consider them altar sacrifices for now, you magnificent tall goddess.) 
> 
> To continue? To not continue?  
> I've got a half-baked idea for Dick and Jason meeting in person, but I'm not sold on it yet...  
> Leave it with me, we'll see where this goes. 
> 
> **Title inspiration:** "Bad Connection" by Yazoo


End file.
